{"id":10209,"date":"2017-10-19T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-10-19T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifeline.philips.com\/resources\/blog\/2017\/10\/advice-for-new-caregivers.html"},"modified":"2023-01-03T09:27:29","modified_gmt":"2023-01-03T14:27:29","slug":"advice-for-new-caregivers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeline.com\/blog\/advice-for-new-caregivers\/","title":{"rendered":"Advice for New Caregivers from People Who&#8217;ve Been There"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019re new to caring for an aging parent, it\u2019s normal to lack confidence and feel a little anxious.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis is the toughest stage of life by far,\u201d notes Paige Arnof-Fenn, a <a href=\"http:\/\/mavensandmoguls.com\/\">Boston-area marketing executive<\/a> and family caregiver. But you can make it easier by being honest about emotions (yours and your parents) and taking advantage of every resource you can, including the sage advice from caregivers who\u2019ve been at it for a while. Real-world eldercare experts can provide actionable advice and insights to help you reduce anxiety and build confidence, and to realize <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeline.com\/blog\/the-dangers-of-dealing-with-loneliness-as-a-caregiver\/\">you\u2019re not alone in this<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>We asked some experienced caregivers to share the advice they wish they\u2019d had when they started caring for their elderly parents.<\/p>\n<h2>Understand your parents\u2019 emotions.<\/h2>\n<p>Aging parents may be anxious or depressed if they lose mobility, cope with multiple chronic conditions or lose their independence. \u201cThis can cause them to become overwhelmed, scared or withdrawn,\u201d explains Susan Hodges, a parental caregiver and author of <a href=\"https:\/\/abreachoftrust2016.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i>A Breach of Trust<\/i><\/a>. \u201cIt\u2019s important to listen and ease their concerns. If you provide tranquility, it will help them to relax and overcome any bad feelings. It\u2019s not about treating them like a child, but treating them as an adult struggling with aging.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>Be present, not super-human.<\/h2>\n<p>\u201cNo matter how strong your resume is or how good a problem solver you are in your day job, Arnof-Fenn says, there are some problems that you cannot fix, some things you cannot do. When you have to choose between competing priorities, opt for quality time. \u201cI realized that it was my love and presence that made my family members happy in the end. They knew I was there for them and that\u2019s what mattered.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>Keep a daily journal.<\/h2>\n<p>\u201cJournaling allows the feelings \u2013 positive and negative \u2013 to leave you so they no longer stay bottled up inside,\u201d explains Lisa Maria Chirico, <a href=\"https:\/\/careplanet.co\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">a nursing home navigator coach<\/a> and a caregiver in New York. \u201cEven if you only write a few sentences in it, write about your feelings and what you&#8217;re going through with your loved one. You are able to deal with what&#8217;s on your mind immediately \u2013 no need to wait to call someone on the phone or for the chance to speak during a caregiver support group. When your journey as a caregiver is over, the journal will be very helpful to you because it&#8217;s a record of your story, your caregiving journey.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>Investigate assisted living before it\u2019s needed.<\/h2>\n<p>Don\u2019t wait to research senior living communities until your parents need it. Do your homework now, while you have time. Even if you decide to live with your aging parents, that situation may need to change. Jennifer Bright Reich, a <a href=\"https:\/\/brightcommunications.net\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">publisher<\/a> in Allentown, PA, initially invited her parent to live with her. But after her mother passed, Reich couldn\u2019t provide the full-time care her father needed. A move to assisted living was required. \u201cRemember this might not be just the best decision for <i>you<\/i>, it\u2019s likely also the best decision for <i>them<\/i>,\u201d she says. \u201cA few weeks after moving my dad to Above and Beyond Personal Care Home, he thanked me for moving him. \u2018They take such good care of me here,\u2019 he said.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>Deploy technology.<\/h2>\n<p>Hodges suggests setting up check-in reminders on your devices and your parents\u2019 to reduce anxiety for you and them. Apps like Lyft and GrubHub make life easier for everyone. Use a medication dispenser to ensure your parents take the right medications at the right time. \u201cAlso ensure they wear [personal emergency] alert gadgets,\u201d Hodges counsels. These devices enable seniors to maintain some independence without your worrying about their safety.<\/p>\n<h2>Take 10 minutes for you.<\/h2>\n<p>You can easily feel like there isn\u2019t one minute to spare, but you can find a few minutes \u2013 on the bus to work, when you\u2019re alone in a parked car, in the doctor\u2019s office waiting room \u2013 to ease your stress and give your mind a break. \u201cI wish I was meditating while I was a caregiver \u2013 I am now,\u201d Chirico says. \u201cQuieting the mind, even for 10 minutes a day, is very beneficial to overall health and helps one cope with daily life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Start with these tips and then reach out to other experienced caregivers for their insights and advice on caring for an aging parent. You can do it!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019re new to caring for an aging parent, it\u2019s normal to lack confidence and feel a little anxious. \u201cThis is the toughest stage of life by far,\u201d notes Paige Arnof-Fenn, a Boston-area marketing executive and family caregiver. But you can make it easier by being honest about emotions (yours and your parents) and taking<a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeline.com\/blog\/advice-for-new-caregivers\/\"> Read more >><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":20160,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-caregiving"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v22.9 (Yoast SEO v26.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Advice for New Caregivers | Lifeline<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It\u2019s scary caring for aging parents. We asked family members to share their tips and insights to help you be effective, confident and less stressed.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeline.com\/blog\/advice-for-new-caregivers\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Advice for New Caregivers from People Who&#039;ve Been There\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s scary caring for aging parents. 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